The Kindness of Friends…

“You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.”-Marcus Cole, Babylon 5, “A Late Delivery from Avalon”

I became a true and everlasting fan of the syndicated science fiction TV epic Babylon 5 when one of my favorite characters, the young and idealistic Ranger, Marcus Cole, made the observation above. It brought so much of life’s good and bad into a kind of smirking perspective. And it applies to more than just the disasters that come our way. It also applies to friends.

Our friends bear us through things, and our friends teach us things, and our friends give us things. We are grateful, we are thankful, we are thoughtless, we take them for granted.

But if we don’t deserve life’s less pleasant vicissitudes, do we deserve the kindness of our friends?

I spent the afternoon with a friend today, and in the course of our (usual) eclectic, erratic conversation, she said something that reminded me of the quote above. She said “I finally got it through my head that I need to stop thinking I deserve anything in this life, do what I can and count on grace to get me through.”

She was speaking of the grace of God, of course, in the context current between us at that moment. It occurred to me a little later, though, that she could be talking of a more earthly grace as well, that grace we receive from our friends.

Some speak of “earning” friendship, but that’s not quite right. We might earn an obligation from someone, but friendship? That’s bestowed, freely given. It is priceless, not just because its value is immeasurable, but because price is irrelevant.

Friends can fail us. Friends can fall away, or be lost to us. But the friendship that sustained us once, sustains us forever afterward. Can you not remember the kindness of a friend at some time of frailty or fear, even if it was years ago, and the cause of the fear, perhaps even the name of the friend who lifted you along, you can’t recall? The kindness remains. The kindness is unforgettable.

So give thanks for God’s grace of friendship, given and received, undeserved. Rejoice in the kindness. Be not just the receiver, but the bestower of grace. For when you touch the hand of a friend, in pain or to ease pain, you touch the hand of God.

“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”-from Matthew, 25:40, ESV

Tagged.

So, I got “tagged” by eTrish .

Thanks.

So now I am required to (attempt to) do the following. Okay, I’m game. Here are the rules to the game:

(1) Link to the person that tagged you. (2) Post the rules on your blog. (3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Okay. Now, it’s my turn.

! and 2: Done.

4: Ain’t happening. I only know two people on WordPress, and they’ve already played the game. I don’t know if any of my other friends blog. It’s a pity; I thought I was a lot more popular. Sigh.

3: This I can slamdunk. I mean, come on! Just seven weird things?

Amateurs.

1) I occasionally like to put peanuts in my (bottled) Diet Coke or Coke Zero. It’s like having a sugar free Snickers bar: peanuts, caramel. Okay, no chocolate; nothing’s perfect. By the way, that’s three product endorsements. Do I get any fat cash contracts? HECK no!

2) I love stuffed animals. Always have. I have several, mainly otters, which I collect. I am 47. I am heterosexual. Yes, really.

3) I have conversations in my car with people who aren’t there…and usually they are reruns of conversations from twenty years ago. In my car, however, I win the arguments.

4) Sometimes, in bed, I will entwine the blanket between my fingers, to feel the cool textures of the blanket between them. Wonder what Freud would say about that? On second thought, no, I don’t.

5) I never fell in love at first sight. First touch, on the other hand….

6) When I look at the stars at night, I try to see the ones I know I’ll never be able to see. It’s nice to look into emptiness, and know, even in the dark part of the sky, there is light.

7) If my football team is losing, I’ll change hats. If they don’t start winning after that, I take the hat off. If they lose anyway, I cry. Childish? I’m an Alabama fan. I wear a houndstooth hat on occasion. I was in college when Bear Bryant was still coaching. Don’t you know the U.S. Constitution protects both freedom of religion and freedom of expression? Deal with it.

So there we are. I will perhaps try to tag others as I get to know more people in the ‘blogosphere.

Blog envy.

My friends are doing it, so what the hell. I figure I’ll write maybe one page worth, and then I’ll have it out of my system.

What will become of this manifestation of my latent megalomania? Nothing much. I won’t be releasing it to anyone, or if I do, very few. I am a modest man, as Churchill once said of a fellow parliamentarian, with a great deal to feel modest about.

I make no promises. This weblog will be at times sententious, overlong, and pompous in the extreme. But, if nothing else, it will allow me to see myself for what I am. Which is rare enough; I usually only see my own delusion of myself: capable, noble, effective, worthwhile. What any reader will see is something less complimentary, I’m sure.

But enough. This is a start. Clupeiforum has begun. Hopefully the smell won’t get too bad once the fish start to rot.